Monthly Archives: June 2007

And Everyone Slid Off Into The Irish Sea

Actual headline on the NY Times web page right now: Britain on Edge After Car Slams Into Airport Had not realized the island was that delicately balanced.

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Nelson, The Babe Magnet

I tell ya, it was just like that old Eagles song, Standin’ on the corner in Winslow, Arizona, Such a fine sight to see, It’s a girl, my Lord, in a flat-bed Ford, Slowin’ down to take a look at … Continue reading

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The Friendly Ranger- R.I.P.?

Back in the days when I was training young rangers, one of my stock lectures included a short homily that went something like this: People sometimes ask me, “What’s the hardest part of being a park ranger?” They’ll be expecting … Continue reading

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80-Year Old Sprints Nearly 40 MPH!

Okay, so it was downhill. Really downhill. Klondike Gold Rush National Historical Park (AK)Hikers Rescued After Fall On Chilkoot Trail NPS Morning Report, June 29, 2007: On the morning of Monday, June 18th, two members of a family of four … Continue reading

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One Villain, No Heroes?

Okay, here’s the story: arrogant rich guy buys a chunk of protected land overlooking the C&O Canal National Historic Park. Tells NPS, “I want to build my mansion here, but the problem is that my sweet little boys are allergic … Continue reading

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Interior Biggie Cries Like A Little Girl

Former #2 man in the Bush-Cheney Interior Department does the Paris Hilton Snivel: Judge Orders Prison Time for Ex-Interior Deputy Washington Post, June 27 2007: A federal judge rejected the tearful pleas of the former second-ranking official in the Interior … Continue reading

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Just Another Week In The Parks

My old buddies at Cuyahoga had barely finished handling an in-park suicide, when the body of the latest Famous Missing Pregnant White Woman turned up in a field at the south end. Now weeping strangers are indulging their vicarious grief … Continue reading

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Drunker Than Dubya At A Frat Party

Man mistakes straw bale for stricken woman, gives it CPR The Island Packet, June 27, 2007 A Hilton Head Island man confused bales of pine straw with a dead woman, and tried to resuscitate them early Tuesday morning, according to … Continue reading

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Newf Owner’s Haiku

Black hair binds roller Rubber drive belt burns and stinks One more dead vacuum

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Another Dead Kayaker At Apostle Islands

Damn. Out by the mainland sea caves, like the last one. Details sketchy, more to come.

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Death Of A Chief Ranger

Saw an obituary this week for the former Chief Ranger of an important National Park; a fellow I had not thought about in a long time. De mortuis nihil nisi bonum, so I won’t mention his name; my one encounter … Continue reading

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Un-Safe Sex For Sure

Ooops! Friends mourn couple who fell from Columbia roof WISI-News, Columbia SC June 21, 2007: Mourning friends, classmates and co-workers are remembering the two young people who died after falling 50 feet off a downtown Columbia building. Shortly after 5am … Continue reading

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