…Miss Teen South Carolina, Lauren Caitlin Upton!
From a blog titled The Daily Clusterdouche (really):
The White House announced on Tuesday its plan to replace dowdy poindexter Margaret Spellings with dazzling South Carolinian Lauren Caitlin Upton as Secretary of Education, following a recent display of confidence and intellect that President Bush is quoted as calling, “Hot-damn good stuff.”
“What this country needs is an intellecter,” Mr. Bush said in a brief press conference following the announcement. “This Laura Catherine, she’s got the goods. She knows how hard it is to get learning into the Iraq.”
“People in America, they don’t have maps,” Mr. Bush added, leaning over the podium and grinning, squint-eyed, at the audience. “In other words, they ain’t got maps. This here’s a crisis. How can you find the U.S. America on a map when you don’t got a map? It’s impossible! Ms. Updike, she’s gonna sort this thing out for us. Get us some maps.”
Heh. I’ll be visiting that blog again, for sure.